We left the airport and headed home. Sophie drove while I sighed emphatically. I could hardly believe what had unfolded this past month. Had it really happened or was it just a dream?

‘Soooo bro, how ya feelin mate? You just gonna keep sighing or did you want to use your words?’

Along with her question came a loving smirk paired with a gentle punch to the side of my arm.

‘Sis. I...I...I feel both crushed and ecstatic.’

‘Awww mate, you really like her, don’t you?’

‘She’s a gorgeous gem. Yeah.’

‘Must feel surreal, yeah?’

‘How do you mean?’

‘Dude c’mon, you’ve been crushing on her since forever. As if mum and dad and I didn’t notice you get all googly eyed whenever she came over. And that was back in the day!’

‘Yeah well I was just a kid.’

‘Bro, I’m just saying it must feel sweet to have this little fantasy come to life. I’d be freaking out if I were you!’

She wasn’t wrong. I had been crushing on Zoe for as long as I could remember. I loved when she was at the house even though I was too shy to say anything to her. When she finally qualified for the world tour and was gone for most of the year, I can’t tell you how excited I was when she returned for the off-season. I never showed it, obviously. But to this day my stomach has never failed to do somersaults whenever I’m in her presence.

‘I’m...I’m still letting it all sink in I think. It really was a dream come true.’ ‘Is. Bro. Is a dream come true. She likes you! She really does. I can tell.’

I felt both joy and sadness. This was the chaos going on within me, as though I’d fallen in love and had my heart broken at the same time. It was a strange feeling indeed.

‘Stay with the love, bro. It’s better that way.’

I could never get much past Soph. She always seemed to know what was going on with me even when I didn’t know for myself. The ultimate big sis.

‘Nah, of course you’re right. I’m really happy she knows how I feel now. It feels good for sure.’

‘You guys going to keep in touch then?’

‘I told her I wanted to, and she was keen. So yeah I hope so.’ I shrugged my shoulders, attempting to demonstrate my indifference about the whole thing. But it was a complete lie. I wasn’t indifferent at all. I was completely invested. Plus I was smiling too big. This was just the beginning, I decided. Of what I didn’t know, but it felt too good and too real for it to be over just as quickly as it had started.

‘Yeah dude. Revel in it mate. But don’t fuck this up. She’s my best friend forever so y’all better be mature no matter what happens, you hear me?!!’

She was laughing, not wasting any time taking the piss at the potential awkwardness of the situation. Her best friend hooking up with her little bro was a cliché not lost on me. But what’s a guy to do?

‘I know I know! Anyway there’s too much future ahead of us and too much fun to be had, however it works out in the end. I’m sure we can all handle it. And besides, she’s back on the tour. It’s a different world out there and who knows what’s going to happen for her.’

‘And who knows what’s going to happen in this world with you, bro. You’ve got ladies clamoring all over themselves to get to you, Seth, the nice, charming guy with a skateboard. You could have any one of them, yeah?’

‘I guess, yeah, but I only want Zoe. She’s all I think about! It’s been such a magical time with her here, it’s going to be weird without her.’

‘Tell me about it. I miss that chick all the time.’

‘Yeah but at least you have Kiko now. Nice one, by the way.’

‘Ta, mate. Yeah, I’m lucky she’s into a weirdo like me! We’ll see what happens. Still, nobody can replace the Zozo.’

By the time we turned into our driveway my emotions had settled some. Or maybe I was numb. I don’t know. I had just had a taste of her, and I wanted more. So. Much. More. I certainly wasn’t ready to turn the page on a new chapter, especially one that didn’t include her here with me.

—

‘Awww, Sethy baby.’

Mum was in the driveway waiting to give me a hug when I got out of the car.

‘Mum ‘cmon! I’m fine, really.’

‘I know baby. I know.’ She said while hugging me anyway.

Ugh. Embarrassing.

During dinner that evening it felt different without Zoe at the table with us.

‘There’s definitely less sarcasm being thrown around the table tonight.’ Abby noticed.

‘Man that’s because I don’t have Zozo to pick on! It sucks! Guess I’m going to have to start picking on you again Sethy!

‘There’s no stopping Sophie, Seth. Best prepare yourself!’

‘I’m well aware, Dad. Thanks. I think after all these years I can manage.’

‘Ah well, see? That didn’t take long. The Smart sarcasm has already begun again!’

‘It’s Love, mum!’

‘Yes, dear. I know.’

—

I picked up my phone and glanced at the time. 1AM and I was still wide awake in bed. My mind was busy recounting every moment of my time with Zoe. Surfing, walking the beach, eating out, dancing, making out. There was so much I wanted to say to her! I finally caved and started texting...

‘Zoe! I hope it’s okay to say I miss you already. Is it? Lol. I know you’re off on a grand new adventure, one you’re going to slay of course, but I want you to know how much I care about you. You know that, right? And I meant what I said at the airport. I want more of us. I don’t know what that means under the circumstances, but...can we talk about it?’

Wait. OMG what am I thinking? This is way too corny! She’s going to balk at me for spilling my guts, not to mention Sophie would die laughing if she saw this. But...is it corny if it’s the truth? Is this something to be embarrassed about, or proud to admit? Dammit I don’t know what to do. Should I send it?